eating disorder recovery

Do it scared. Just do it.

October 05, 2019

“Courage is not the absence of fear but the triumph over it,” Nelson Mandela
 
When I was early on in my eating disorder recovery, everything scared me. We’re talking everything. I remember talking to my therapist and she asked me “what are you afraid of” and I listed off about 20 things with no hesitation. Everything from eating a bite of something “forbidden” to failing at life. I was living in a constant state of anxiety over the past and future. I could not control what happened in my past and I could not control what would happen in the future and that left me fearful….of nearly everything.
 
In treatment, I was given the advice to do one thing every day that scared me. At first it was eating a bite of food and not immediately throwing up or exercising it off. I did it. I sat with my feelings even though I was scared. When I left treatment for the last time, it was applying for a job. I did it. Afraid, but I did it. I began to make it a habit of doing one thing daily that scared me and it slowly became easier. I was building my bravery muscle and now I can honestly say, I am not afraid to take risks. I am not afraid of failing because recovering from an eating disorder was by far the most terrifying thing I have ever done. Courage is a muscle and we build it by doing things that scare us. Do it scared. Just do it. It gets easier and you get stronger. One thing every day that scares you. One thing, that's it. You've got this <3


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